leaning in

I have a friend that talks about “leaning in” as a means of gauging the level of investment we have in different things. I love the visual imagery of that concept, and it works with pretty much anything: specific situations, professional commitments, relationships - whatever. Are you “leaning in” to where you are in life, are you pulling back, or are you just standing neutral and keeping yourself at arms length?

When I think about different aspects of my life - from professional to personal - I can see myself and envision the degree to which I’m “leaning in” (or out) of where I am.

The reality is that there are some areas of my life where I’m probably “leaning in” a little too far, and others where I’m not “leaning in” near enough. Figuring out the balance is something everyone has to do for themselves; I don’t necessarily think there’s a right or wrong amount of “leaning in” that can be applied to everyone across the board for certain things. But I do think that often, way too often, we let ourselves off the hook with lame excuses and rationalizations for not “leaning in” when we know we should. Maybe its fear that holds us back? Fear of facing the reality of things that might make us feel uncomfortable, fear of things that could potentially hurt us, fear of failure, of fear of the unknown...

I guess my question is, what’s the point? What’s the point of being engaged enough to keep an arm’s length or lean out? What is the point of fear? It’s silly really. Life is what it is. How does fearing the result of leaning in actually impact it? Either go for it and lean in, or get out completely. The truth is, we don’t really ever learn much or grow from keeping everything at arm’s length. We learn from the result of leaning in. Sometimes it’s easy and joyous, sometimes its difficult and painful - but never once have I felt like it wasn’t worth it - and usually, its much more fun than it is scary. There’s a line from a song called “Even Angels Fall” and it says something like, “You’re on the ride, so you might as well open your eyes.”

Leaning in is pretty much the same thing - if I’m there, lean in and invest.

camp revisited

I spent my first summer at Camp Illahee in August of 1985. Coming off of an alumnae “reunion weekend” almost 25 years later, I still find myself consumed with the same emotions I felt when leaving camp after my first summer there, and that I have felt every time I’ve left camp since. Loving every second I spent there, wishing I could stay longer, and eagerly looking forward to the day I get to return. Of course I think its cool that I still feel like this when leaving Illahee, but what makes it really special, is that I am one of many women who would tell you they feel this way.

I have been blessed beyond measure in my life. I have amazing parents and a wonderful family; I continue to be humbled by the unconditional love and acceptance they pour out on me. I will be eternally grateful for the sacrifices my parents made to allow me the opportunity to spend 10 straight summers at Illahee. That gift, and make no mistake, it was most definitely a gift, was their way of helping me escape the pressures of “real life” and giving me – even if just for a few weeks – a place where I felt like I was “enough.” Illahee was the tangible thing in which I could place my hope.

It’s really quite amazing that over the years, from former owners and directors to new owners and directors, from old staff to new staff, and past campers to first time campers – that 90 years later – Illahee has remained true to who she is. Yes, things have changed. Songs come and go and come again, new cabins have been built and old cabins refreshed, a nice coat of paint now covers the rafter of Cabin 36 where “BOOG GALLIVAN” had been written with great care and detail in giant permanent marker, Happy Hollow no longer houses campers, there is a high ropes course, what used to be a parking lot for staff is now tennis courts and Heigh-Ho has a new shower house that’s so nice I’d seriously consider walking around in there sans flops. Yes, there have been a lot of changes in 25 years, but Illahee is still Illahee.

At the end of each night, before campers head to their cabins to get ready for bed, everyone in camp “circles up” to sing The Pine Tree Song and TAPS. There is a line in this song that says, “…like the spirit of Illahee, it always will be…” that’s what defines this camp; not the buildings, not the songs, not the activities, not even the friendships - the spirit of the camp that remains consistent with what its always been.

As a camper, I did not grasp the ways that the Lord was using, and would continue to use, Illahee to impact my life. Camp was what I lived for during the school year; when I felt dumb and inferior in the middle of my school day (which was pretty much everyday), I would focus on camp. I would think, “If I can just get through this day, in a few more days, the month will be over, and after this month ends, the next begins, and then before I know it, it’ll be time for me to go back to Illahee.” The countdown from my session’s Closing Day to the next summer’s Opening Day was on the second I left.

Although I did not fully comprehend this at the time, Illahee represented so many of the things that I desperately needed, desired and craved; things I still desperately need, desire and crave. Illahee represented love, joy, peace, acceptance, discipline, gratitude, and freedom. Freedom to be myself all the time, freedom from trying to be more than I was, and freedom from trying to measure up. I understand now that it wasn’t actually the tangible aspects of Illahee in which my hope rested; it was the spirit of what Illahee is all about, and that is undoubtedly the spirit of Christ.

The “spirit of Illahee” is directors, counselors and staff that are the hands and feet of Jesus. It’s teaching girls to serve and love others well by serving them and loving them well. It’s showing girls that true joy can be found in simplicity rather than in material, worldly complicated things. It’s accepting and loving people for their differences rather than in spite of them. It’s striving to see the beauty in all people and all things. It’s teaching girls that discipline isn’t a punishment, that hard work really does pay off, and that just as each of us is unique, so are our successes. The “spirit of Illahee” is celebrating each individual success fully; regardless of whether that success looks like having the courage to conquer a fear of swimming in the lake, shooting a “50” in riflery, or trying something new and failing at it. It’s leading by example and living out – not just telling – what it truly means to “Be A Great Girl.”

Like I said, there have been lots of changes in 25 years, but “...the spirit of Illahee, it always will be.

job descriptions

I’ll be the first to tell a client that job descriptions are vitally important. They are important for for us as staff, and they are important for our volunteers. Its common sense really - if we don’t lay out expectations and responsibilities for our volunteers, how can we expect them to know what they are being expected to do and for what they are held responsible?

Sure, we can allow our volunteers to assume their responsibilities and expectations in their roles, but assumptions can be costly in time, costly in effort, costly in morale, and then they can just be costly. By failing to clearly define expectations and responsibilities, we leave room for details to fall through the cracks, for unnecessary overlap and for an inefficient use of time and resources. Not very ideal really.

Yet, for some reason, it seems that many of the non-profit organizations with whom I work are very averse to giving their volunteers job descriptions. There’s this concern that a job description will make a volunteer’s role sound like too much work. Um, news flash, volunteering is work - and not just work - its hard work! Anyone who has ever volunteered will most likely agree to that. As staff, its our job to make a volunteer’s job as easy as possible, and that means being realistic and up front about what you are asking that volunteer to do. The job description should align the expectations that the volunteer has of their role to the expectations that the organization has of the volunteer’s role. The goal is not to overwhelm our volunteers with bullet points and give them a “to-do” list, the goal is to enable our volunteers to be the best they can be. It sounds cheesy, but its human nature that people want to spend their time doing things that they feel good about, that they believe they do well and where they feel valued and appreciated. When someone’s not getting paid to work hard, if they don’t feel good about their efforts, you can rest assured they won’t be working hard for long. In over 10 years of fundraising, marketing and consulting, not one time have a I ever had a volunteer say to me, “It really bothered me that I was given a job description. I did not like being told what the organization expected of me in this role. I did not like being able to accurately assess the commitment I was being asked to make in order to determine if I could take on the responsibility and give the organization my best.”

Bottom line: volunteers are a unique breed. Not everyone out there wants to work really hard for free; never take that for granted. Get on the same page; know their strengths, acknowledge their efforts, understand their motivation and say thank you. Say thank you OFTEN.

mama

My mama is awesome for a million and one different reasons, all of which I could list and go on and on and on and on about. Then I could go on some more, so given my tendency to be long winded, its probably best that I avoid listing her many gifts and talents or this would go on forever...

This past weekend was very full and has left me feeling incredibly blessed, and on this day that is all about celebrating “mothers,” it seems only appropriate that I spent the weekend attempting to do the one thing my mama does better than most - love others well. She preaches kindness, gentleness and love through the way she lives her life. She leads by example, and she is nothing short of amazing.

Mama, thank you for loving me so well. Simply put, your desire to glorify God with your life, your heart, your spirit and your faith amaze me. You amaze me. Thank you for every teeny, tiny detail you handle to make sure our family “works” and that life as I know it is what it is. I love you.

caps, gowns, diplomas and the future

This past weekend was filled with really good time spent with people that I just don’t get to see enough. That seems to be a theme for me... if I could figure out a way to crash all of my people into one place at one time and stay there - now that would just be stinking awesome.

Graduation from high school; I remember it well. Excitement mixed with anxiety and teeny-tiny, itty bitty smidge of sadness... mostly just complete and total excitement. The thrill and anticipation of my dreams of the future and my hope for what was to come.

If I had been given a magic ball that allowed me to peer into the future, I would have looked into it expecting to see my life unfold in a certain way and expecting to be a certain person. It hasn’t unfolded as I expected it would and I am not who I expected I would be; I thank God for that everyday.

It’s funny really, what a blessing my unanswered prayers truly are. If things had gone according to MY plan, I would have missed out on so many things. I would have missed knowing these girls and I would have missed photographing THESE moments, and that would have been tragic, because clearly, this is just good stuff. One of the most fun aspects of photography, is the challenge of capturing that one moment that just sums it all up... well, these two photos of Alex and Lee, this is what I’m talking about. Graduation summed up in a photo = Done and done.