leaning in

I have a friend that talks about “leaning in” as a means of gauging the level of investment we have in different things. I love the visual imagery of that concept, and it works with pretty much anything: specific situations, professional commitments, relationships - whatever. Are you “leaning in” to where you are in life, are you pulling back, or are you just standing neutral and keeping yourself at arms length?

When I think about different aspects of my life - from professional to personal - I can see myself and envision the degree to which I’m “leaning in” (or out) of where I am.

The reality is that there are some areas of my life where I’m probably “leaning in” a little too far, and others where I’m not “leaning in” near enough. Figuring out the balance is something everyone has to do for themselves; I don’t necessarily think there’s a right or wrong amount of “leaning in” that can be applied to everyone across the board for certain things. But I do think that often, way too often, we let ourselves off the hook with lame excuses and rationalizations for not “leaning in” when we know we should. Maybe its fear that holds us back? Fear of facing the reality of things that might make us feel uncomfortable, fear of things that could potentially hurt us, fear of failure, of fear of the unknown...

I guess my question is, what’s the point? What’s the point of being engaged enough to keep an arm’s length or lean out? What is the point of fear? It’s silly really. Life is what it is. How does fearing the result of leaning in actually impact it? Either go for it and lean in, or get out completely. The truth is, we don’t really ever learn much or grow from keeping everything at arm’s length. We learn from the result of leaning in. Sometimes it’s easy and joyous, sometimes its difficult and painful - but never once have I felt like it wasn’t worth it - and usually, its much more fun than it is scary. There’s a line from a song called “Even Angels Fall” and it says something like, “You’re on the ride, so you might as well open your eyes.”

Leaning in is pretty much the same thing - if I’m there, lean in and invest.