opening and closing doors

it's funny how it works - the opening and closing of the doors o' opportunity. sometimes it seems like the Lord is just throwing bones my way. maybe He does it to keep me entertained. or maybe He does it to keep me from getting too comfortable. or maybe He does it to make sure I know - even though I do know - but to really be sure I know, that He's on top of the details of my life, that He hasn't forgotten about me. or maybe He does it just because He can.

your guess is as good as mine.

but whatever the reason, He does it. out of nowhere, along the street of my life, He opens a door. sometimes it's a door I've probably passed a 100 times but never noticed. sometimes it's a door I absolutely DO NOT want to walk through. sometimes it's a door I've been watching, waiting, and praying would ope regardless of which door it is - regardless of whether He full on swings the bad boy wide open, or if He cracks it just a bit, or if it's a spinning door that I'm stuck in for awhile and just going around and around (where I can see the possibility of what might be and the reality of what is) regardless of what kind of door it is, they are all a blessing.

there have been a lot of doors cracking open lately - some are cracking open just a wee bit wider than others - some are barely cracking open at all. one or two have been the spinning kind and i have a made a few loops around. i've noticed several doors recently that have remained shut. deadbolted. with a safety lock. and a chain - you know - just in case. the closed doors are protection. they are the Lord's protection over my life. in many cases they serve as a warning. most of them i can get through if i really want. i can force my way in. i can break the door down. but i don't want to force my way in. i want the doors to be opened for me. i want to be invited in, welcomed even.

and i think that's what the Lord wants for me. in fact, i know it is.

He wants to open the right doors for me, His doors. and He wants to open them at the right time, His time. and He wants to do it IN His time.

so, i'm just kicking it. enjoying life one day at a time. moment by moment. taking it as it come. doing my best to be patient... which is not so much my greatest strength... praying for direction and for discernment. praying to have the good sense to know which doors He wants me to walk through, and which doors He wants me to walk past. trying my best to seek Him and be joyful regardless of circumstance (not that my circumstance is anything to complain about.) because let's face it - i am blessed.

seriously blessed.

and i read a blog post earlier today that reminded of just how blessed i am. a blog post from sixty feet. a post that talked about how, amidst really terrible circumstances, really deplorable and atrocious circumstances, are children who, by all earthly expectations, should be consumed with despair. children who praise God - not because of what He has done for them, what they have, or their circumstances - but because of who HE is. they praise Him simply because they can and simply because He is who He is. a savior. a King. the only living God.

that blog post was a door. a full-on wide open door. i was invited to walk right through it and sit down at the foot of the cross to be reminded of much this life is not about me. and yes, i am clearly blessed, which is the result of no effort of my own. none whatsoever. but i am blessed nonetheless. but it's not about my blessings. the joy, the praise, the desire to live a life that glorifies Jesus above all else - that is not about the blessings - it's not about my circumstance. it's just about Him. it's all about Him. His grace. His mercy. His forgiveness. His love.

and it's good. His glory is really, really, really good. it's the best door to walk through. and it's full-on wide open. all the time.